In the weekend I was playing hockey at Papatoetoe and in my team is Bruno, Maz, Baden, Sam, Olivia, Kezia and Hamish. We lost 6-1 although last week we bet them 4-3.
After that we went to Manukau and had boneless chicken curry. I shared it with my sister. Then we went to grandma's house in Buckland.
Then we went to Buckland school and played basketball. And me and my sister stayed the night. The next day my mum and dad picked us up.
Hi Toby
ReplyDeleteI can see that you have tried to add detail to your writing. It sounds like you had a great weekend... much more action packed than mine!!!
One other way you can add detail to your writing is to include how you may have felt at different times during the day.
I look forward to reading more of your work!
Miss Nobari
Very nice just don't write that you lost
ReplyDeleteHarry